I am at the end of my rope. I just need to have a bitch session with myself here on the old blog. I am counting on all of my loyal readers to leave me an uplifting response in hopes I will snap out of it. It all started in July when the housing market crashed and we decided we couldn't move to our new house that was built in Fulton Ranch. It was my dream house. 6 bedrooms, den, basement, 7 bathrooms, big kitchen and the list goes on. We lost 32k on the deal. When we backed out and signed the paper work saying we were walking away the paper work actually said that they would be donating our losses to a charity. Okay, I'm charity. So anyways most of you probably didn't even know we were going to move that is why I tried to not show my tears when it blew up. Marc and I decided okay who needs a house that big. Let's stay put and do some remodeling to our house. We met with interior designers, contractor, flooring over about a 2 month period. Got ready to go for it and we found out the credit line on our house has been pulled because of the decline in the market. SLAM in the face once again. Some other things have back fired too, but I gotta keep some things personal. I am feeling defeated! I feel depressed. I have a great life but still feel so down. Why does that happen? Do I expect too much? I feel like there is not enough of me to go around. I feel like a robot. I get up make breakfast, pack lunches, take kids to school, hang with Lilly, do errands, pick kids up from school, take kids to activities, make dinner,pick up kids the last kid up from activities at 7:45 at night. Come home, eat dinner, do homework, then go to bed. Repeat Monday-Friday. Who wants my life? Any takers? Oh, I almost forgot you get to love your husband a couple of times a week before you go to bed. I know that is a plus.
wow. ummm hi
13 years ago
6 comments:
Oh my gosh Christy, I am so sorry to hear about all of this! First of all, the housing market situation has put too many people I know in financial problems, so you are not alone. We were thinking about building a new house for months and finally decided to keep it simple and stay where we are. That was the safe thing to do, but not the most exciting. As for the everyday routine of life, I think we all get stuck in our everyday routines and feel like its never going to change. Hang in there, you have a great life...adorable kids, great friends, and a husband who loves you and provides for your family. I envy how you can handle such a big family, I know that I would have been thrown over the edge with a third child! So be proud that you CAN do it all and give yourself a break. I think a girls night out bitch session is well needed! Let me know when it is and I'll be sure to make it!
I didn't know they donated your losses to charity?! what a slap in the face? I agree with Keri lets have a girls night soon. Actually lets go to lunch and scrapbooking soon. I think you need to be scheduling yourself some time. Everyone else in the family has an outlet that you provide for; they need to give you the same support. this is where you need to selfish. don't try to find the time that is most convenient for everyone else; because they certainly don't lend the same courtesy to you. Lastly, this time in your life is so short; try to remember that. think of the days when you had all the kids at home and like 3 of them were in diapers.
Christy, I wish we would have had more time to talk last weekend. I'm sorry that you are feeling this way. I was able to talk to some ladies last weekend about the situation we are facing here and I finally felt that I wasn't in my lonely boat, floating alone.
We had our dreams shattered from this whole houseing mess too. We had money pulled to add an addition to our house before Gracie was born and the prices just shot right up so the amount of money we had wasn't going to get us what we needed or wanted.
Just remember, I'm raising 4 kids in a 1500 sq 3 bedroom house. I would love to try to find something else, but this is the lot in life that I have. Besides, my oldest will be 16 this year, he could in theory, be gone in 2 years. Oh, now there is a thought that scares me. Where did the time go?
You are doing a fabulous job raising your kids and are a good wife to Marc. I think it is a season we all go through when we feel like we don't really have a purpose other then driving our children around.
Hang in there my friend. Things will look brighter soon.
Wow, all great advice...I don't know what I could even add. Except that I feel the same way ALOT and then I feel guilty about feeling depressed because my life is better than alot of other peoples. I know I have much better coping skills if I get out once or twice a week.
Oh Christi- just please know that there are many of us moms out here that feel the same way you do, stuck in the rut of the kid care routine, down in the dumps, not really in control of our own lives--( I think that's why I got a tatoo this summer- just wanted something i could choose and control!) ANd Mark is LUCKY if he's gettin it 2 times a week! My hubby's sure not!:)
I've been waiting to get out of my own funk before commenting. I hope you are feeling a little better. I know this housing market and economy is hard on everyone. We have had to really readjust our priorities and think smarter with money. Just remember that everything happens for a reason and sometimes when things seem like the worst thing, it really turns out to be a blessing in disguise. Also, with your sweet and loving personality, it's very important to set boundaries (I have to work on this continuously) and learn to feel ok saying no to people and putting yourself first. I know it can be hard with a family, but your girls need the example of a mother who puts makes herself a priority, so they can grow up and do the same. As my wise grandmother would always say, "this too shall pass" and this period will pass and you'll be on to something else :) I also envy how you can handle a big family...that is my dream, but not sure how I would do with it. You are so lucky to have what you have. Constantly remind yourself of that. I'm totally in a for a girls night out, so we should all plan something so we can all escape our lives for a night. Much love,
Nicole
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